Generational Workplace Conflicts: Why Teams Struggle & How to Solve It

Episode 86: Generational Workplace Conflicts: Why Teams Struggle & How to Solve It

In this episode, Holly Hibbard - Executive Leadership Coach & Corporate Relationship Consultant - shares with you...

• the dynamics between different generations in the workplace, including Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z, and how their diverse communication styles and work ethics can lead to misunderstandings and disengagement. (Navigating Generational Conflicts)
• how to give and receive feedback in a way that minimizes conflicts, enhances collaboration, and fosters a supportive workplace environment—crucial skills for anyone looking to improve team dynamics. (Effective Feedback Strategies)
• practical solutions for leaders to bridge generational gaps, such as implementing cross-generational mentorship programs and setting clear expectations, thereby boosting productivity and morale within your organization. (Actionable Techniques for Leaders)

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Transcript

Hey, everyone.
Welcome back to the Holly Hibbard Show.
I am your host, Holly.
I am so grateful for you joining me today because we're going to get into some relationship conflict.
And no, and hopefully not you and I, but what I mean by that is we're going to learn some new skills today to navigate sticky situations when conflict arises, specifically in the workplace.
For those of you that might be new to the show or don't know me all too well or from my social media content, totally good.
No problem there.
Something you would know with some backstory is that my coaching practice primarily focused on personal relationship coaching for many, many years.
And my perspective when it comes to relationship coaching was I wanted to make sure and I still want to ensure that my clients have a multitude of different things that they can try to get through those messy moments because there is no cookie cutter way to navigate a conflict in a relationship.
And workplace conflicts are no different.
And with that, in this episode, I wanna break down for you what happens when we have generational workplace conflicts, namely why teams struggle in the first place and more so how to solve those dilemmas.
Now when I say here why teams struggle, I'm sure you know by now in the workplace that it isn't only generational differences that can cause conflict or friction in an organizational culture.
You know, team struggle happens for a variety of reasons, personal differences, perspectives, misunderstandings, miscommunications.
So I'm not saying that the only reason conflict ever comes up in the workplace is because there are generational differences.
However, much like my approach when I was coaching married couples on how to get through messy moments in their personal relationships, my mind as a coach goes to, alright.
Let's start going through the toolbox and seeing which of these solutions that I know of is going to be the one that's going to push us through to something better, that's going to get us to the other side of this.
And when it comes to workplace conflict, yes, if you're having conflict in the organization about management or attitudes or people showing up on time, people following through, being efficient, being straightforward, Those are all reasons that conflict can arise, and the skills I'm going to be giving you in this episode today might help you to navigate some of those situations as well.
But specifically today, I want to focus on if it's a generational difference that is causing the conflict, how do we get through that type of struggle and seek to find a solution for it?
So conflict in the workplace, it's inevitable.
There's our relationships, no matter what kind they are, are going to have bumpy waters at times.
However, when this conflict stems from a generational difference, it can create long term tensions And those tensions, they hurt productivity.
They take down morale.
There's less team cohesion.
And when it's all happening, you might not know what's happening in the moment until one of those results shows up.
You see that the productivity is down.
You see that morale has taken a hit.
You see in that you see that your team is just left together in some way.
And what I want you to know is you might not even start to look for the solution until the fallout has began.
So in this episode, I want to explore with you the most common generational conflicts that will happen at work, tell you why they happen in the first place, and how you as a leader, a manager, a business owner, a colleague, a kind person who just wants work to be good and doable for you, how you can resolve it.
So have you ever got frustrated by how a coworker handles their communication, their deadlines, how they give feedback or how they receive feedback from you.
If that is the case, you might be dealing with a generational workplace conflict.
So that is one of the telltale signs that this strategy or these solutions I'm going to give to you today may be something that will work in these instances because you're noticing there's a communication breakdown specifically around deadlines, giving and receiving feedback.
Those can be flagged pointing toward the direction of this is generation related.
So generational tensions, yes, they exist and they will affect your team productivity.
And, again, I'm gonna break down for you the types of conflicts and then how to bridge that gap.
So when it comes to the top generational workplace conflicts, the first one, I'm gonna give you a couple of them.
One of the major conflicts that can happen is there's a difference in perspective around work ethic and commitment.
So when it comes to the baby boomer or boomer generation and Gen X, the two oldest of the generation we've been talking about in this episode, in terms of work ethic, in terms of work ethic and commitment, Boomers and Gen X, they value loyalty, which also looks like working long hours.
And they see the value in going above and beyond when it comes to a work commitment and work ethic.
However, Millennials and Gen Z, the two younger demographics of the four generations I'm gonna be talking about in this episode, they expect efficiency, right?
This is a instant gratification generation simply because technology has made their brains that way.
However, that being said, even though they expect efficiency, they are stern with their boundaries.
They are very much putting work life balance in the forefront.
So as an example, let's say, when it comes to work ethic and commitment, let's say you have someone from each of these four generations having a conversation about quiet quitting.
Well, quiet quitting to a baby boomer, they might see quiet quitting as someone just being lazy.
Right?
But a younger employee, a millennial or Gen Z, they might see that quiet quitting happening around them and they'll see it as Wow, that person is really putting down some healthy limits or some healthy boundaries.
They don't automatically assume that it is out of laziness.
Okay?
And perhaps some boomers and Gen X will see quiet quitting happening and they also might say, Oh, well, they must have really good boundaries.
I wish I could do that.
So I'm I don't wanna pigeonhole everybody to say that they're only one way, but these are general rules of thumb.
So when it comes to work ethic and commitment, another top generational, conflict in the workplace is the communication style.
So when it comes to communication style, the boomers and Gen X, they prefer that face to face, phone call, formal email communication.
More is more.
More detail is is warranted.
And I'm not saying use more words, just use more words, but there will be more detail in the communication.
And also that is why face to face is seen as the best way or a phone call or that longer email because you can get through a large amount of information in the fastest period of time, but the focus is on getting across the large amount of information.
However, millennials and Gen z, when it comes to their communication style, they rely on things that are shorter, like instant messaging, Slack, short responses.
So for example, someone who is Gen z, they might see a long email and they want to ignore it.
And they or if they are going to reply, they might respond with a one liner in a Slack message.
And that can really frustrate boomers or Gen x or people who prefer that large amount of detail.
But to Gen Z or a millennial in this case, they see it as I'm being efficient and I'm only saying what needs to be said or responded to in this moment.
But the way a Gen X or a boomer might see it is, okay, you've given me a one liner, now this is going to take longer because I have to ask you follow-up questions because I gave you detail and you gave me one line.
Another communication style breakdown that can happen here is the way feedback is given and received and also the expectations that these generations have from leadership.
So boomers and Gen X, they expect there to be a structured performance review and for there to be hierarchy.
How is the ladder built and how do I climb said ladder?
I wanna know where I am headed.
Millennials and Gen Z, however, prefer prefer feedback in real time.
Don't give me the feedback ninety days from now when my mess up was ninety days ago.
At the same token, millennials and Gen Z also prefer a more collaborative leadership approach as opposed to that, you know, one daunting every ninety day feedback meeting about something that they don't really know what's happening.
They wanna know in real time, in this moment, remember instant gratification generations because technology creates this need for I need the info now.
So they want the feedback in real time and they like when it is collaborative.
They don't only wanna hear from one person, they wanna hear from a couple different perspectives, more well rounded.
So in this example, a Gen Z employee, a younger person or employee, they might expect some quick casual feedback on the spot.
But someone who is Gen X, who might be their manager, they might think, well, I'm not I don't need to give quick casual feedback because their annual review is coming up in a couple weeks and I can just wait for that.
So you've got a couple generations who would like to get the feedback now and you have a couple generations who are more accustomed to structure and formal formality with that type of feedback, especially when it comes to getting feedback from leadership.
So something else I wanna point out to you in this episode is these these conflicts that I've said, they hurt productivity and they can take down morale because there are generational misunderstandings.
And when these misunderstandings happen, just like in any relationship that you could be in, misunderstandings lead to resentment.
It leads to disengagement where people might not put in as much time, as much effort.
They may not be as, outright spoken.
They might not lend their ideas as much as they typically do.
And when either of those two things or both of those things, resentment or disengagement, when they're present, that often means that someone might start looking elsewhere to work and that leads to a high turnover.
So the way the anecdote to that, if there are generational misunderstandings, the solution is to reduce the number of misunderstandings.
And that's why I just highlighted some examples of where the top conflicts in communication, in feedback expectations, in work ethic and commitment.
Those are the things that lead to the misunderstandings that then lead to the resentment or the disengagement that ultimately lead to people quiet quitting or outright quitting, which leads to high turnover.
And every time there's turnover in a position, it costs more money.
Okay?
And recruitment is also really difficult.
So it's not like one is better than the other.
Teams that don't address these tensions, if you notice it and you're not doing anything about it, the team is gonna suffer from lower collaboration.
The team is going to suffer from less innovation, less creativity, less thinking outside the box, less trying to do things differently than it's done in the industry, which those innovations are what make your organization stand out in the first place.
So we want that.
So this isn't just about, oh, you know, forget your feelings.
Feelings don't matter.
Misunderstandings happen.
No.
Like this really truly, this is why I cannot stress enough the importance of emotional intelligence which includes the way you communicate, the way you practice listening because we want to reduce these misunderstandings so that teams don't fall to that level of tension which then leads to lower collaboration and less innovation.
And this is why many workplace conflicts again, it's not about people having bad intentions.
It's not that people are going to work every day, not everyone at least, and saying, You know, I'm just gonna be rude as hell to everyone today.
Like, people don't go to work typically with bad intentions.
But what everyone does is you take you with you everywhere you go.
So whatever your perspective is, regardless of what generation you are, that perspective goes with you everywhere and different people means different perspectives.
It doesn't equate to bad intentions.
It's not bad.
It's just different.
So how do we bridge this generational divide when we are at work?
So if you're in a leadership role, a business owner, if you're in management, here are some things that you can do.
And if you are the employee, a colleague, a team member, I will give you some tips as well.
For leaders and managers, the first thing you wanna do is you want to encourage cross generational mentorship.
So I love this because I have used this when I was even and I know I'm saying cross generational, but even when I was a high school teacher, pairing someone with one year of teaching with someone with five years of teaching makes a huge difference.
They might be in the same generation Or even pairing my students, somebody who is 14 with somebody who is 17 in my chemistry class.
Right?
Different perspectives because of different life experiences, and that makes things run more smoothly because it expedites the learning process as well and also provides accountability and it gives a way for the two people in this mentorship cross generationally when we're talking about the folks we're talking about in today's episode.
It gives them an opportunity to practice communication with somebody from a different generation, and also it gives them an opportunity to have a a relationship at work where firsthand they can start to see how people from that particular generation see the world, see how things should be done, interpret things around them.
And it's not so that they can be in competition with one another.
You're creating a mentorship relationship between the two of them.
So you can pair older and younger employees, or you can simply pair people who have different levels within the organization and create a mentorship situation so that learning is the standard.
You have someone to go to.
You have someone to bounce ideas off of.
And it doesn't what also happens when we pair people up like this is it reduces the amount of silos that are created in your organization.
Because you may have a silo of gen Xers or a silo of folks who are closer to retirement or a silo of gen Z, And they all kind of hang together, but no one's ever made them mingle or given them reason to, or given them a positive light on or outlook of how that can really benefit them in the workplace and in their personal life as well.
The other thing you can do as a leader or manager is offer communication flexibility.
So recognize wholeheartedly that different generations have different preferences with how they communicate.
We don't want to discipline somebody because they're sending a long email.
We don't want to chastise somebody or, you know, talk bad about somebody because they replied with a one liner in an email.
This is an opportunity to say, all right, everybody communicates differently and make requests.
Let people know what your preference is in terms of communicating and why it helps you.
If I need more detail with something and I'm not getting it, it's because I'm not asking for it.
But when I let somebody know, hey, I'm a detail oriented person.
I know it's a pain to type all that up or to voice memo me a two minute voice mail or voice memo about what's happening.
I know that takes longer than it does to type one sentence or send me two words back, but I need that type of detail.
It really helped me to get my job done and you'd really be helping me out if you can remember that about me.
And then moving forward, hopefully, that person or the people you share this with will know, okay, when I'm talking to Holly, she's a detail oriented person.
She would rather have more detail than less.
But if I withhold that information and just assume that, well, then they're gonna think that I'm just too wordy.
I mean, I do have a podcast.
I talk a lot, but whatever.
I mean, I'm using it for good.
Right?
Last thing for leaders and managers is clarify work expectations.
You wanna have clear guidelines on everything from what the work hours are to what is a deliverable for that particular person.
When is it going to be submitted?
How long does it need to be, revised?
How are we measuring our productivity?
Because metrics without measurement, without metrics, we cannot improve what we're doing.
And if different generations want to measure success in a different way, then that means that clear work expectations have not been established by leadership, by management.
And that would be up to you.
Now, if you are an employee or you're a team member, here are some ways that you can bridge the generational divide in your role.
First thing is adapt and compromise.
Know that compromise does not mean be passive.
Compromise means hear people out on why they do things.
Notice when you just want to shove to the side somebody else's perspective because they're a different generation than you and you might think, oh, that's old school and what do they know and now there's this new way.
Who knows?
Their way might be more efficient, more effective than yours or vice versa.
But that requires the willingness to adapt and compromise and try everything to see.
Meet your colleagues halfway.
That might mean adjusting your communication like I just gave an example about, it might also mean adjusting your expectations of that person.
Because there's the expectation that your organization is gonna have of you, but also there's expectations that you probably have of your coworkers as well.
And it's important that you put those at the forefront of your mind and you notice, oh, am I judging this person because of my own expectations or am I judging them because they're not working in alignment with what the organization's expectations are.
Those are two separate things.
You can set your expectations to the side or line them up differently or communicate them better.
Another thing you can do as a team member is be open to feedback.
So sometimes, feedback might seem rude or it might feel inefficient.
And you know what?
It might just be a difference in how generations communicate that information.
And if you receive feedback and you feel like a button has been pushed in you and you're like, I didn't like that Or if you feel like the feedback you got was half hearted or inefficient or not detailed enough, it's important for you to voice those things.
How do you want to receive that feedback?
Do you need more of it?
Do you need more specificity?
Do you need more examples?
If it seems rude to you, again, if that button got pushed and you think it's rude, try to take a step back and think about the actual words that were spoken.
Because if they say the actual words to you, you're lazy and you're late to work every single day, and I don't know why you have an attitude all the time.
Wow, that's pretty direct.
It's also pretty unlikely that they'd be saying that to you unless they were probably letting you go.
But if they're simply being short with the way that they're describing, okay, these were your numbers last month.
This is what we see in terms of your absences.
These are the amount of calls that you've returned in X amount of time.
This is how your quota is.
Their efficiency in communicating their info to you, it seems short and rude.
So I'm what I'm saying here is pay attention to the actual words that people are speaking and notice when you're hearing actual words and then interpreting it as, Ugh, that's just rude.
Okay?
And last thing you can do as a team member is practice recognizing the strengths of yourself and also your co worker, not just the differences between all of you.
Because I'm doing these sets of episodes about generational differences on the show, because every generation brings a unique set of skills.
The boomers bring the experience, the millennials bring innovation, Gen Z excels with technology, and myself and Gen X, we're just a big ball of fun that blends all of that.
But I think there's things that we are getting picked and choose here, picked and choose from.
So practice recognizing people's strengths and not just noticing all the things that they do different from you.
Again, different is not bad.
So, to wrap things up, leaders, I want you to identify and address generational friction points in your workplace.
Team members, try fostering an open conversation to understand where conflicts are stemming from in the first place.
Let's get to the root of it and not stay petty and on the surface for longer than a couple of minutes.
And the challenge I have for you for this episode is try a new communication method this week.
So whether it's a quick Slack message, going and having a face to face chat with somebody, giving real time feedback, get outside your comfort zone momentarily and practice bridging this gap cross generationally in your workplace.
Practice seeing your workplace with this new lens.
Question where these conflicts are coming from and where these struggles are coming from.
What's the root that needs to the root of the weed that needs to be pulled, Right?
So that something better can grow in that spot.
Instead of just saying, this is so not working and this is horrible and that person's annoying and I don't wanna be here.
Let's practice how to let's work on how to solve it and not just stare at it and be mad at it for longer than, like I said, a couple of minutes a day, and then it's time to move on.
I hope this episode was supportive.
I would love to hear from you on the challenge of the week.
Drop me a comment on the show.
Let me know what is going to be the one step that you will do to bridge a generation gap in your workplace this week.
Whether you're a leader, a manager, a team member, an employee, what's one thing that you're going to do to start to bridge that gap, to decrease these struggles, and therefore make work a less tense place, a more productive place and a place with overall better morale.
Until next time, I will talk to you next time.